Why do I have to justify this?

For 9 years I have been there to hold, love and protect my child! After talking to his doctor I made a tough decision to remove Masan from the classroom so that he would have a fighting chance. What people don't understand is that although Masan looks like a normal fun loving kid, inside his immune system just isn't up to par and a normal everyday cold that a classmate might have could cause Masan's system to shut down completely. If I don't protect him who will? I see kids walking the halls day in and day out that are at school because the parents can't afford childcare, they can't get time off work, or because they simply don't care enough to keep them home; either way these sick children are walking time bombs for Masan! I don't understand what gives ANYONE the right to question my motives or my love for my child. Really? So are you telling me if this was your child and you had to worry day in and day out about outside factors getting him sick you wouldn't remove him from the situation? Do you really think that you know me because we talk "occasionally"? There are people that I talk to daily that have no idea what living with CMT is like, because I don't let this define who Masan and I are! Yeah it's a lot to deal with, but I think I am handling it just fine....well maybe not just fine but I am doing the best I can do and I resent ANYONE who thinks otherwise! I am the one that wakes up every morning and has to look at myself in the mirror and realize that I did this to my child, I am the reason he has this disease. I have been asked many times if I knew that I had CMT would I still take the risk and have children and my answer is always the same.... HELL YES! I love my children and I believe that God placed them into my life for a reason, they are the reason I breathe, cry, laugh and live life to the fullest everyday! So if you think for one second I am going to sit by as you try and tear him down you are full of crap! He is a very bright child and although you may not be speaking to him, he is aware of what you are saying and how you are saying it. For you to pretend that you are looking out for his best interest is ridiculous, if that were the case you would be working with me instead of trying to remove me out of the picture. Mark my words.... THIS IS ONE BATTLE YOU WILL NEVER WIN, SO THROW IN THE TOWEL NOW!!!!

Starting Over

It has been two years since I last posted....
Walt and I are at a place where we work together to give the kids the best of both worlds, maybe it will work and maybe it won't but either way the boys have us both:)

Currently I am trying to make a decision as to whether or not I am going to pull Masan out of school and home school him. Something has changed, not sure what or why but I know SOMETHING has changed and it isn't fair that he is making himself physically ill worrying about going to school. This decision has been harder than anything else I have dealt with over the past few months, and to be honest I am hoping that someone will read this and give me a suggestion about what to do.

It's really easy for someone on the outside to sit and judge me, but to have your child cry himself to sleep and have such anxiety that he is causing migraines and vomiting you really have to sit back and ask yourself is it worth it???? I don't think it is! I would rather spend time with him happy and excited about life, is that really too much to ask for? Granted I know that he will miss his friends, but we have this huge community of friends and their kids that I think after a while being home schooled will just become the normal thing to do. The fact that it has been cold and snowing like crazy the last few weeks is definitely something I need to think about as well. Heck Masan falls daily without the snow and ice! What to do what to do....hmmm Maybe I better sleep on it and call Special Services in the morning and see what our options are.